My last dream was the last one I had before I finally started to try and seriously fix my problem.
This is the dream that's kept my head above water.
This is the dream that's kept my head above water.
I don't know how to read music, but I have a really good ear for a tune when I hear it. I've been known even since I was little to just sit at a piano and pick out the melody of a song I've heard. You makes another appearance in this dream. You plays piano beautifully. I would go to his Church on Sunday's just to listen to him play. Sometimes, I would even get to hear him sing. He's confident in his talents, just as he should be. Although, I'm not quite sure if I've ever let him know how much I really enjoyed just listening to him.
I'm sitting in You's work out room/dining room/new bedroom. (The room has changed several times since I've known him.) The ever changing room has red walls and a large window that leads out to the driveway in front of the house. I'm sitting in front of a silver keyboard. The black stool I'm sitting on is large enough for two but, for now, is only occupying one.
I flip the switch on the keyboard, and adjust the volume. I place a finger with a polished fingernail on one of the white plastic keys. The touch was smooth but soft. My finger belonged there, but I still felt wary and thought I would embarrass myself.
My fingers touched more keys, playing the only song they could remember from my High School piano class. (And, no, it was not Chopsticks.) Then I felt it again. I felt the warmth of his body against my back and his arms on either side of mine. Then his face was there, level with mine. He started to play another melody. One that was very familiar to my ears. A sweet song that reminded me of the beach at night, the feeling of two beings fitting together perfectly, the feeling of security, and that warm feeling that I got whenever I was near You.
My hazel eyes looked up into his brown and I smiled. You sat down on my right and kept an arm around my waist. My body was filled with that warm feeling and my nose was filled with the sweet smell that was his. The smell that brings back the fondest memories of being close to him. The one I miss every time I'm laying on my couch or in my bed. The smell danced around my nose and up into my brain which triggered a little movie to play for me when my eyes shut.
"Here. Try this," You said as he grabbed my hand.
The nerves in my hand sparked and my lips curved up into a smile. My eyes shut as he played a tune with my hand
The ocean was black and the sky was empty. The cool grains of sand squished between my painted toes. The lights from the town behind us barely touched the beach. Maybe we'd be able to see that meteor shower from here after all.
"I'll race you," I said with a smile on my face.
I started to run without his response. I knew he'd chase me. He loved running. We didn't have a real destination, so I stopped at the first lifeguard stand. I let him crash into me and tried to hold my own ground. I shifted on my feet but he was able to catch both of us. I wrapped my arms around his waist and looked up into his, handsome, moonlit face. I could barely see him. But as my hand reached up to touch his face, I could feel his scruff from lack of shaving and I could feel his eyes smiling down at me. I rose up onto my tip toes and met him half way. My lips touched his and every nerve in my body shot out a signal.
I opened my eyes as he let go of my hand. I couldn't play what he had taught me so he played it instead. I tried to mirror his dancing fingers, but could only catch random bits and pieces. I stopped and listened before I started to hum. This song had no words, just sounds.
My voice carried through the tune You played. The beautiful sound was completed when You harmonized my hums with his own healing notes. We continued together and looked at each other with smiles painted across our face.
I hate waking up sometimes. This was one of those times. But I woke up with that warm feeling filling my chest. That sinking feeling was gone. My dream saved me. You and I have never had a moment quite like this. Usually he would play and I would sing. So, the knowledge that this was not a memory lifted my spirits and eased my broken heart. This was a sign.
I'm not disregarding this sign.
I'm sitting in You's work out room/dining room/new bedroom. (The room has changed several times since I've known him.) The ever changing room has red walls and a large window that leads out to the driveway in front of the house. I'm sitting in front of a silver keyboard. The black stool I'm sitting on is large enough for two but, for now, is only occupying one.
I flip the switch on the keyboard, and adjust the volume. I place a finger with a polished fingernail on one of the white plastic keys. The touch was smooth but soft. My finger belonged there, but I still felt wary and thought I would embarrass myself.
My fingers touched more keys, playing the only song they could remember from my High School piano class. (And, no, it was not Chopsticks.) Then I felt it again. I felt the warmth of his body against my back and his arms on either side of mine. Then his face was there, level with mine. He started to play another melody. One that was very familiar to my ears. A sweet song that reminded me of the beach at night, the feeling of two beings fitting together perfectly, the feeling of security, and that warm feeling that I got whenever I was near You.
My hazel eyes looked up into his brown and I smiled. You sat down on my right and kept an arm around my waist. My body was filled with that warm feeling and my nose was filled with the sweet smell that was his. The smell that brings back the fondest memories of being close to him. The one I miss every time I'm laying on my couch or in my bed. The smell danced around my nose and up into my brain which triggered a little movie to play for me when my eyes shut.
"Here. Try this," You said as he grabbed my hand.
The nerves in my hand sparked and my lips curved up into a smile. My eyes shut as he played a tune with my hand
The ocean was black and the sky was empty. The cool grains of sand squished between my painted toes. The lights from the town behind us barely touched the beach. Maybe we'd be able to see that meteor shower from here after all.
"I'll race you," I said with a smile on my face.
I started to run without his response. I knew he'd chase me. He loved running. We didn't have a real destination, so I stopped at the first lifeguard stand. I let him crash into me and tried to hold my own ground. I shifted on my feet but he was able to catch both of us. I wrapped my arms around his waist and looked up into his, handsome, moonlit face. I could barely see him. But as my hand reached up to touch his face, I could feel his scruff from lack of shaving and I could feel his eyes smiling down at me. I rose up onto my tip toes and met him half way. My lips touched his and every nerve in my body shot out a signal.
I opened my eyes as he let go of my hand. I couldn't play what he had taught me so he played it instead. I tried to mirror his dancing fingers, but could only catch random bits and pieces. I stopped and listened before I started to hum. This song had no words, just sounds.
My voice carried through the tune You played. The beautiful sound was completed when You harmonized my hums with his own healing notes. We continued together and looked at each other with smiles painted across our face.
I hate waking up sometimes. This was one of those times. But I woke up with that warm feeling filling my chest. That sinking feeling was gone. My dream saved me. You and I have never had a moment quite like this. Usually he would play and I would sing. So, the knowledge that this was not a memory lifted my spirits and eased my broken heart. This was a sign.
I'm not disregarding this sign.
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